True Self
by seektheinfinite
Summary: Chloe goes looking for Lucifer after the events of 2x06 Monster. What she finds is not what she expected. Tag to episode 2x06, after Lucifer has been to see Linda. "We all have a devil inside of us Lucifer, I'm pretty sure I've seen yours come out once or twice when we've been working together and I'm still here."


"Lucifer!" Chloe called out to the seemingly empty room as she made her way down the stairs to the club floor, gun in hand.

The silence that surrounded Lux was unnerving. It was a Saturday night, the busiest night of the week and space on the club floor was usually at a premium. Tonight couldn't be more different, an eerie silence settled over the place, disturbed only by her shoes clanging against the metal steps.

It wasn't merely the silence that had unnerved her but the state of the place as well. It looked as though it had been ransacked; tables had been upended, chairs obviously flung against walls with such force that they were now little more than firewood.

Seemingly every glass in the club had been smashed to smithereens along the bar, littering the floor in front of it as though someone had merely swiped a hand along it, obliterating everything in its path.

Only Lucifer's baby grand seemed to have escaped the turmoil, still standing pride of place in the middle of the room.

Her first thought was that Lucifer had been robbed, but then that didn't make any sense. If that had been the case this would certainly not have been the first she would be hearing about it. Lucifer was certainlynot the type of person that would let anyone who had wronged him go unpunished, unless he couldn't tell her.

As she made her way further into the club, gun firmly planted between two hands, ready to defend herself should the need arise, she called again "Lucifer? Are you here?"

"Hello Detective." The voice was Lucifer's but the tone was something that she had never heard from him before. It was small, almost whispered as though he was fighting with himself to say those two little words.

"Lucifer." She could barely reconcile the man in front of her with the man that she knew. This was certainly not the Lucifer that she was used too; the loud, annoying, cock-sure man who claimed to be the devil. He looked almost broken.

"Feel free to use that if you like. You'd be doing me a favour."

"What?" It took Chloe a few seconds to register what he was saying, but when it did she was horrified. He was gesturing to her outstretched arms, the gun pointing unwavering in his direction. He was asking her to shoot him. "I'm not going to shoot you Lucifer."

A tiny smile played on his lips, a hint of the Lucifer she knew still in there somewhere. "Oh why not detective, you've done it before. This time you just have to aim a little higher, that's all."

Chloe instinctively lowered her gun giving her a few seconds of thinking time before she responded. "I'm not going to kill you Lucifer. Last time was…a mistake. I got sucked into your delusions and you paid the price for it. That's not going to happen again."

She made a point of ejecting the magazine from her gun and placing both on the floor at her feet before making a move towards Lucifer who was sitting slumped against the side of one of the booths.

"Please Detective, if you're not going to help me then just leave. Everyone does in the end, might as well make it sooner rather than later." Lucifer grabbed the bottle of whisky that was set beside him and took a long swig before hugging it towards his chest, as though he were afraid to let go.

Chloe couldn't help but notice that he wouldn't look at her, not directly. It was so un-Lucifer that it was unnerving.

"Lucifer, I want to help. Just, I can't help if you don't tell me what's going on." Chloe crouched down beside him, placing a hand gingerly on the arm not currently cradling the whisky bottle.

Putting the bottle down on the floor, Lucifer turned to Chloe, red-rimmed eyes locking onto hers. "I've told you everything Detective, you just don't want to listen." He spat, every word punctuated with venom. He grabbed the hand holding his arm and shoved it away before getting up off the floor and walking away back towards the piano.

Chloe sat stunned, unsure of what her next move should be. She could feel the anger radiating off him as she stalked away towards the front of the club, and she certainly knew what he was capable of when he was angry. Everywhere she looked a reminder of that fact.

But there was something else there as well, underneath the anger, bubbling beneath the surface just waiting to come out.

Getting up off the floor she decided to follow him, she wasn't going to give up that easily. "Okay, so I don't listen. What about your therapist? Did you talk to her?"

She didn't think that it was possible but Lucifer seemed to get smaller at the mention of his therapist, his body seeming to collapse in on itself as he slumped against the metal railing along the bars edge.

"Yes, thank you for that sage piece of advice. I did speak to her, and I suspect that I won't be speaking to her again any time soon. The last time I saw her she was gaping at me like a fish out of water with nothing to say so…"

"What happened?" She hated herself for even thinking it but her first thought was that Lucifer had done something to hurt the doctor. She had seen him make grown men cry when he wanted too, it wouldn't be a stretch to think that he could do the same to his therapist.

"I showed her my true self." If she hadn't been so close to him she probably would have missed it, but Chloe saw a tiny tremor run through Lucifer's body at the mention of his 'true self', she wasn't sure she wanted to know what that meant but her detective instincts were kicking in.

"You didn't," she hesitated, unsure of whether to ask the next question or not. "You didn't hurt her, did you?"

She knew it had been the wrong thing to ask the minute the words were out of her mouth because for a few seconds Lucifer seemed to come back to himself, raw power and emotion as he pulled himself up to his full height. She was sure it was just a trick of the light but for just a second it looked as though his eyes glowed red.

"Why is it everyone thinks the Devil is some evil monster that loves to go around hurting people. I am a punisher detective; I punish people who do bad things because it's my job. I don't like it. I don't want to do it. I would never hurt someone that didn't deserve it, and as much as I am angry at the good doctor right now she doesn't deserve to be punished. So no, in answer to your question I didn't bloody well hurt her."

Chloe held her hands up placatingly. "I'm sorry, it was a stupid question, I just… You're not making a whole lot of sense right now. Why don't you just tell me what happened. You said you showed her your true self, what does that even mean?"

He sighed before drawing himself up to his full height. "I showed her the devil inside detective and just as I feared her human mind couldn't deal with it and I have once again been cast out. I'm sure she'll never want to see me again."

She stepped closer before placing her hand gently on top of Lucifer's which was gripping tightly to the bar. "We all have a devil inside of us Lucifer, I'm pretty sure I've seen yours come out once or twice when we've been working together and I'm still here."

Lucifer pulled his hand away sharply as though her touch had burned him, before he stalked away from her towards the piano. "You have no idea what you're talking about detective. You've seen parts of me that I have allowed you to see, but you've no idea what the real me is like. I would repulse you."

Chloe was shaken by the sadness that filled his words. Whatever was going on with him he truly believed, even after everything that they had been through together, that she would simply walk away and leave him. She wasn't sure how she was going to be able to convince him otherwise but she needed to at least try.

"Lucifer I have no idea what's going on with you right now but I really need you to snap out of. Just show me the _real_ you, whatever the hell that means and then I can stay right here with you and we can work this out, together."

Lucifer slammed his fingers against the piano keys in anger. "Fine you want to see the real me detective, I'll show you. Might as well rip the band-aid off and get it over and done with. Just don't say I didn't warn you."

He sat staring at the piano for a few seconds before turning to look her straight in the eyes. The face she saw reflected back at her was the one she had seen many times; it was the one she saw him wear when he was trying to intimidate someone, to convince them that he was as evil as he said he was.

She stood for a moment before moving towards him. Placing both hands on his shoulders she leant down to his height before replying. "All I see is a friend who's in pain. A friend who's putting on a mask to show the world who he thinks he should be, but it's not who he is. I see a friend who needs help."

"Who are you?" Lucifer searched Chloe's eyes, her facial expression for any hint of revulsion, fear or hatred, all of things he was used to seeing when people saw his true form. But he saw none of that, there was nothing but genuine love and affection. "Why do you not see what everyone else does?"

Chloe brushed her thumb gently across his cheek, wiping away the single tear that rolled down it. "I'm a detective. I'm well practiced at finding out the truth. The truth is that you're not an angel or the devil, you're just a flawed being trying to find his place in the world."


End file.
